Unpredictable
by RavenclawWayToBe
Summary: Sometimes we wear a mask to save ourselves from getting hurt, but it's when we let people see the person underneath the mask that we can truly find our family. Sirius and Lily discover this the hard way.


It was a perfectly normal day in the Gryffindor common room. Nothing out of the usual. A few first years in a corner playing wizard chess, some third years on the couches giggling at the latest gossip, a couple sixth years gazing longingly out the windows, wishing that their owrkload would decrease just enough to catch a few rays of sunshine, and of course, Lily Evans sitting in an armchair by the fire, scribbling furiously on a parchment while balancing two books on the other knee and her nose nearly pressed to the page.

It wasn't out of the norm, Lily often got so immersed in her work that she would overload and go into 'her zone'. When in 'her zone' it was best not to disturb Lily, for she was like a wild beast; unpredictable. But, this still didn't deter Sirius Black, for he had a bone to pick with Lily Evans.

"Evans!" he shouted across the common room, "Could I have a word?" His neutral words and distinct glare meant trouble, he never sounded serious unless he was angry.

"Look Black, now isn't the time, I'm busy. Just go away, kay?" she responded, not looking up from her work.

"No."

"Leave me alone, I don't have time."

"You wish Evans. I need to speak to you right now and you're not getting out of it this time." He sounded furious now.

"Piss of Black," was all she responded before he grabbed her by the wrist and practically pulled her out of the common room, dropping her books and ink onto the carpet and knocking over a few people passing them in the process.

"Let go of me!" She fumed, "How dare you grab me like that!" She screamed. Her wand was in her hand within seconds, but he was faster and had already disarmed her with Expelliarmus before she could think of a jinx or hex to throw his way.

"I'm sick of you Evans, I'm tired of your shit attitude." She stared blankly.

"Excuse me? You dragged me out here to tell me that you're annoyed with me? Well thanks for the input, but I'm busy at the moment, can I have my wand back?" she asked, trying to remain calm (or at least calmer than she normally would have been. After all, she wanted to be Head Girl next year, and Head Girls had to remain patient and neutral, even when dealing with pricks like Sirius Black.)

"No, you may not. I'm more than annoyed with your attitude Evans, I think you need to quit it entirely. Quit the act that you're better than everyone else, quit pretending like you have something entitled to you because you can play nice with others and you have the teachers wrapped around your finger. I can see right through your little act and just because James can't, doesn't mean that you're not a fake!" He shouted.

She was flabbergasted, Sirius Black was calling her a fake?! "That's rich coming from you, Mister 'I Own The School and All Females Should Bow At My Feet'!" Her face was getting redder by the second.

"Oh shove it, Evans. You're just a crazy little bint that likes to play with people's feelings! I'm so sick of all the shit that James goes through for you because you know what; he could do so much better! Yeah, I said it. All you ever do is play nice for a few days, then when anything goes wrong, you blow up on him! Now don't get me wrong, Prongs can be stupid, but you are absolutely insane! You are absolutely indifferent about his feelings towards you, and no matter how hard he tries, he'll just never be good enough for you Lily! And you hurt him, maybe you don't see it, but what you say, it kills him Evans and I'm sick of picking up the pieces! You're a crazy bitch for passing him up, and you're an even bigger bitch because you won't even give him the light of day! You can't let go of any of his past mistakes because you were friends with Snivellus. You're cruel to one of the best people I've ever met, and yet you still pretend like you're a fucking saint! I'm sick of you Evans, and this was the last straw, so leave James alone. Don't talk to him, don't associate with him, don't even look at him! He deserves better than the likes of you!" Sirius shouted.

"You don't know me Sirius, okay! Maybe I'm just trying to be nice to other people who might be having a hard time, because everybody can use somebody sometimes. All it takes is one person. And who are you to judge me about how I act? Do you know how much stress I'm under? No matter how much work I do, I still can never end up with grades quite high enough to make the cut and everything I do is scrutinized by the general public. I'm expected to be perfect in everything I do and I'm never quite good enough! And unlike some people, I actually have to try in classes to receive my grades, and I work damn hard! I've had less than 4 hours of sleep every night for the last two weeks because I've been busting my ass and there's a girl in third year whose parents just died and there's another girl in fifth year who's been cutting herself because her parents are divorcing! Do you think I don't care about them, and it's all a part of my 'act' that I try and help them? Am I that shitty of a person to you? And let me guess, I'm just trying to get in Slughorn's pants for an O aren't I? I've heard it all before, Black, every rumor, every word, every damn string of words I've heard. I know what people think of me because I'm a mudblood, I know what people say! I work my ass off because I'm just trying to make it work! I didn't have an easy in here like you did, people don't flock to my feet! I'm doing the best I can, okay? I'm trying," her voice, which was loud and angry had fallen to a low whisper towards the end of her speech.

All his hurtful words whirled through her mind. Was she really a hurtful bitch? She had never thought so, but when she really took a look at herself, maybe she wasn't fair to James. He had changed a bit, smartened up, but she never had forgiven him. Did she keep him around just for the attention? Surely not, she told herself, but then why would she get so mad at him over the stupidest, smallest things.

Sirius thought that at this point, Lily would likely slap him and storm down the hall, but Lily was unpredictable to him. Slowly, she looked at the ground and began crying.

Sirius wasn't great with emotions. He had thought they were having a heated discussion and was ready for a fight, not sadness. He was angry at her, but then again, what does a person do when a female starts crying in front of them? Should he leave and let her deal with it on her own? Should he call for Mary or Marlene and hope that they could fix her? Should he keep yelling at her and make her feel the pain that she made James feel on a daily basis?

A lot could be said about Sirius Black. People said he was brave and funny and flirtatious. He was smart without trying and he loved his friends. He was also unpredictable and often unfailingly kind, even when he surely didn't want to be.

His conscience got the best of him, and surely enough, he stepped towards Lily and awkwardly put an arm around her. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "That was harsh. I'm sorry that I let my temper get the best of me."

I'm only doing this for Prongs, he thought, Merlin knows he would be ticked if he knew I made his Lilyflower cry.

So he stood with her in the corridor while she awkwardly cried into his shoulder until she finally stopped crying. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she rubbed at them.

"I'm sorry for crying all over you, I'm just a little overwhelmed. Everything you said was right and I'm sorry. I'm too hard on James because I can't deal with my own feelings and I take it out on him. I'm not who people think I am but I try to live up to what they expect and I don't mean to treat people badly," she said looking ashamed.

"No Evans, it's not all you. I shouldn't have been so hard on you, because lets face it, I'm no saint either. I was just angry and James had been talking about you all day, and a bloke can only take so much, you know? It wasn't fair that I did that to you," he sighed.

They both stood in the corridor for a while, the air tense and strange. Lily and Sirius were never the best of friends, but they generally weren't on bad terms. He was a rule breaker and she was a prefect, so they didn't usually see eye to eye, but never did they have a conversation like that.

To break the tension, Sirius figured he would do the only thing that could fix any situation; drink.

"Alright then Evans, you up to a little Firewhiskey, I think I've got a bit still somewhere from the winter holidays and with the stress you've been holding yourself under, you sure could use a drink. What do you say?"

Going against her better judgment, Lily nodded her head. With everything she'd had to deal with lately, she figured that one little drink couldn't hurt. Besides she'd never been drunk before and she wasn't about to get wasted with Sirius Black. She would just have a bit and be done with. To relieve the stress.

He dashed back into the common room and appeared moments later with a bottle in hand. They silently walked up to the astronomy tower, when Sirius decided to finally give Lily her wand back.

They leaned up against the stone walls and sank to the ground. It was springtime, and quite rainy. The sun was about to set and it looked like the clouds would peak out from behind the clouds any time to end off the day. Lily took the bottle from Sirius' hands and took a small swig. She felt it burn all the way down her throat, but it was strangely relieving. Sirius grabbed the bottle back and took a larger gulp than she, before passing it back to her.

They drank for what seemed like minutes, but was really almost two hours, with nobody talking, until suddenly Lily's voice peeked up.

"You put on quite a facade Black. I mean, I know you said that I wear a mask, which can be considered true, but so do you. And you do it even better than I do." She wasn't sure why she said it, but she had been thinking it, and it seemed that the alcohol was lessening her brain to mouth filter.

"It's all a part of being a Black. Everybody's a good actor in that family, whether you like it or not. I always want to believe that I haven't got a single trait from them, but it's like we're born with it. Everybody hides their true face Evans. Blacks just do it better." He stared blankly at the stars, looking the same way she was feeling. It felt good to just say what was on her mind and not feel like she had to filter her words.

"You never talk about them; your family. I don't really know anything about them, but I'm sorry. I can see how sometimes you look sad when you see Regulus in the halls. Sometimes you just look so sad Sirius."

"Pfft, family. I don't need them. I have James and Remus and Peter and all the other Gryffindors. They can be my family. They are the only family I'll ever need."

"You can't just pick your family," she whispered quietly.

"Yeah you can Evans. Sure, they're the people who I share my blood with and my genes. But that's just a situational thing, your real family are the people you choose to have by your side. And sure, for some people it's people who they share blood with, but family is more than just that. It's people who will stand by you and support you no matter what. That's why I have the Marauders. They're mine."

"I guess I never looked at it that way," she muttered.

"I bet you've got a good family at home though. You always seemed like the type."

"Well then, you've got another thing coming, Black. Good family, sure, if you call my sister hating me with every fiber of her being and my parents always living on ends meet a stable and good family. Then yeah, I have the best." She didn't like talking about her family, but it only seemed fair since Sirius was so honest about his.

"Then why do you act like such a brat? If you don't have a good family at home, make one here!" Sirius brightened. His family at Hogwarts always made him happier and he knew he was lucky to have them. It helped considerably that he had just drank about half the bottle of whiskey, but he wouldn't admit to that.

She huffed, "I don't act like a brat, I'm just not good at friendships. First I was friends with Petunia, my sister, and it was great, until she found out I had magic and called me a freak. Then I was friends with Sev, and he taught me so much about Hogwarts, until he called me a mudblood and hated me because of my blood status. I'm just tired of people getting mad at me for things I can't control, and it seems like eventually, everybody's gonna find something wrong with me and I'll be alone anyways. Might as well be alone now and productive than be alone later and regret wasting my time with people who hate me. Just like James. Sure, he thinks he likes me now because he sees me at face value, but you just wait. Once I say yes to him and he starts to see me more, he'll see the real me that nobody likes and he'll leave me too. I just want someone who, who won't leave." Her words slurred towards the end and she had tears in her eyes but she brushed them away. Being drunk was no fun.

"James isn't like that," Sirius defended, "he's a lot better than you may think. Sure, he likes you because your hair and eyes and your arse, but he likes you as a person too. Merlin knows how many times I've had to listen to how smart you are and how nice you are to people and how great your laugh is and how you're just the greatest person ever. There's no way he could ever see any bad in you Lily, not even when you yell at him."

"He likes my hair?" she whispered under her breath. The thought transfixed her and the pair were silent for a long while after that. They stared at the stars and even though they had finished the bottle long ago, they sat and shared the company.

"You knew Evans, you're not so bad. I think we just had a minor misunderstanding. Hell, you're actually pretty decent."

"Thanks, Siriuss, I think," she slurred out, "You're okay too. Iss just that ssometimes you act tooo coool for everyone, but I see right through you, yes I do. You're just like a big puppy, with a scary outside but a nice inside!" She laughed at this and so did he, and they laughed for a while at everything and nothing, until Lily's breathing slowed and she had slumped onto Sirius' shoulder, fast asleep.

Sirius didn't mind. He thought that maybe he understood Lily a bit better now. She worked too hard and didn't give herself enough credit. She loved to help people even if it meant putting them before herself. She had family problems too and she was just trying to protect herself in the long run, and wasn't that the same thing he was doing when he hung around with all those girls who meant nothing to him. Maybe it was just because he had too much to drink or because he actually had a soft spot for her, but Sirius realized that Lily Evans wasn't quite the girl he thought her to be, and she actually was something quite spectacular. He admitted that she did put James in his place, though a bit harshly, and that maybe, just maybe, one day she and James could end up together. It was deep in these thoughts that he realized someone else was coming up the stairs. His senses were dulled, but he still managed to hide the bottle (in case of teachers), pull out his wand and move in front of Lily (in case of attackers or Slytherins) before they opened the door.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it was just James, probably coming to be Lily's knight in shining armor.

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't surprised. Pads what are you doing up here, and _dear Merlin, what is wrong with Lily!"_ he rushed the last bit as he raced towards the redhead in question.

"Mate, she's fine, just drank a bit too much," Sirius slurred.

"Sirius, you know Lily doesn't drink right? She never has before," James questioned, while checking for her pulse.

"She'll be fine, she's a strong bird, that Evans. I can just feel it."

"Pads, this isn't a joke. I can't believe you let her get like this, you idiot." James looked mad. His eyebrows were scrunched together and he was glaring at Sirius.

"Look mate, I know you're mad, but Lily needed a drink. She's been dealing with a lot, just give her a break, kay?"

"Oh, it's not Lily I'm mad at, it's you! You should've watched her!" he shouted at his best mate.

"She's okay, look at her! We didn't get into any trouble at all, didn't even move from this spot even!" he yelled back.

"Whatever mate. But I'm taking the cloak and the map to bring Lily back to the tower, which means you're on your own getting back," James said by way of retaliation against Sirius.

Just as James began to grab Lily to lift her over his shoulder, Sirius said, "Despite what I've always said about Lily, I think she's good for you James. You'd be good for her too, but just, she seems gentle. Not in the traditional way, because she can take care of herself, but just don't mess around with her. Though, you'd never do that, and I know that because you're the best brother in the world and you would never, ever, do that to anyone. Just thought I would inform you," Sirius said. His speech was slightly slurred, but James never forgot it. He nodded in his thanks and carried Lily over his shoulder down the staircase.

When they arrived back to Gryffindor Tower, James figured it would be best if he just brought Lily up to his bed because hangovers were much worse when the night was spent on the floor.

He carried her up the stairs and into the dorm room, where everyone had their curtains drawn. He placed her softly into his bed and tucked her in. He didn't dare to change her into different clothing because he knew he'd have enough hell to pay in the morning when she realized where she was and why she was there.

He transfigured some old books and quills into pillows and a blanket for himself and made a makeshift bed on the floor. It wouldn't be the best sleep of his life, but it was worth it for her, and if she had to be sick at all during the night, he would be the first one to help her. Hangovers always were a bitch.

The morning came soon enough and Lily awoke with, of course, a pounding headache and no recollection of how she came to be in the boy's dorms. She was just about to yell at James when she had the queasy feeling in her stomach and raced off to the washrooms where James held her hair while she was sick. After, he sat her down and told her all he knew about what happened, she'd drank with Sirius in the astronomy tower, and then she remembered.

The fight, telling Sirius about her family, and a blur of everything else. She felt ashamed, how had she been stupid enough to get drunk with Sirius Black of all people, but somehow she felt liberated. She told someone about her stresses and her family, and he hadn't even judged her. And he gave her something to think about too, maybe James wasn't as bad as she thought. Hadn't he brought her back to the tower, given up his bed for her and even been kind enough to hold her hair back? Lily sure had a lot of thinking to do.

Meanwhile in the astronomy tower, Sirius had just awoken, slightly hungover but nothing too bad other than his aching back. He didn't remember giving the speech to James at the end of the night, nor did he remember Lily falling asleep on his arm, but he had the vague feeling that maybe things would change that day.

In the years to come, James never did find out what happened with Lily and Sirius in the astronomy tower, but he knew that it was an important day. The unpredictable day that everything changed. Lily and Sirius had seemed to come sort of understanding with each other, even creating an amicable friendship, and Lily seemed to be a bit less sharp to James.

People sometimes can be unpredictable. Emotions and memories can really change a person, and sometimes we wear masks to save ourselves from getting hurt. But Sirius and Lily both learned that everybody has problems and it's when we see the person underneath the mask that we can truly find family.

**Another story. I like this because it's a little less romance/jily and it has a bit more substance. I think Sirius and Lily always would've butted heads, but they must have come to an understanding and I think they ended up great friends. Anyways, let me know what you think! Were my characterizations good, or did you cringe? This is a lot more dialogue than I'm used to, so tell me what your thoughts are! Thanks so mcuh! **

**Also: Disclaimer I dont own anything I'm not JKR **

**Love you guys! **

**RavenclawWayToBe **

**xoxoxoxo**


End file.
